he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i dont even know how to be here
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
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