I'm going to jail i love you
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/