Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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