There is no way he is gay with that hair.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
