I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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