you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
