Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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