im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
