my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
