the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
