Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
