How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
