What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
