More tranny stories later!
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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