i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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