He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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