I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
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He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
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We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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