Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
high people should be assigned attendants
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
