so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
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do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
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All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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