Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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