Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
