we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
