I'd wear matching sweaters with you
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
