Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
