You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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