I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Come on in and take your pants off
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