...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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