yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
