his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
