i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
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Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
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He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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