I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
