peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
