you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
