Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
