WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize