so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
