Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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