You don't have asthma, your pregnant
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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