literally had 100 drinks last night.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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