Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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