i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
