Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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