I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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