In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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