your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
