I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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