just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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