So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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