nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
operation have a gay friend backfired
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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