what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
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I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
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We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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