therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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