After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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