I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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