it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
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So gin and wine won't be happening again
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
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Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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