Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
