marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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