I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
i now understand why vodka
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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