Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
