im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
