I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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