i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
