need another drink. this is the easiest way
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
