I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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