i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
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i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
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I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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